Pearls of Wisdom from Everyday Life - Awdhesh Singh

Pearls of Wisdom from Everyday Life

By Awdhesh Singh

We acquire heaps of knowledge in our schools and colleges. We also keep learning new pieces of information from books, the internet and numerous social media platforms. However, all such knowledge remains a theory, or just second-hand knowledge unless we know how to use them in our life to achieve our goals.

Just like it is impossible to know the taste of mango unless you have eaten one, there is no way to acquire wisdom unless you know how to learn the right lessons from life experiences. The most important requirement to be wise is to develop the ability to take the right decisions in life and make the right judgment.

This book, Pearls of Wisdom from Everyday Life, narrates personal experiences and stories to help readers become wiser by learning valuable lessons from their day-to-day experiences.

Reviews From Amazon

A book that offers reasonable counsel and insight for everyday living

The tales are sensitive, basic and charming that catches the substance of human instinct and various stages that we carry on with in life be it being Guileless, or tracking down reason throughout everyday life. The writer has worked effectively with writing down the entire book with unprejudiced genuineness and earnestness, causing us to dig profound into our excursion and encounters.

Ayush Agrawal

If you’re wondering why you’re not feeling fulfilled, happy, or content, this book is for you

The stories are delicate, simple and endearing that captures the essence of human nature and different phases that we go through in life be it being naive, or finding purpose in life. And honestly it’s a beautiful and liberating feeling when you read chapter that make you pause and reflect and most importantly RELATE!

Aayat Parween

Very well written on wisdom from daily life

Liked the way of explanation using stories which helps to relate to our experiences. This book has covered a wide range of topics.

Chavan Kishor

Good read, enjoyed it

Most of the stories and jokes referred to were known to me from childhood yet change in perception and mental model before and after reading enjoyed.

Ashmita

You will be gathering a lot of life lessons from this book

The author has expressed everything in a unique writing style which keeps you intrigued to the narrative. It is a must read and I would recommend this book to my fellow readers.

Ridhi

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Why is discharging negative emotions regularly necessary for happiness?

“Negative emotions like loneliness, envy, and guilt have an important role to play in a happy life; they’re big, flashing signs that something needs to change.” – Gretchen Rubin

A long time ago, I watched a story on television that got permanently imprinted in my memory. This story was about a middle-rank person who was very rude to his family members. The man frequently abused his wife and children and even physically assaulted them. Suddenly, the man became very nice and started treating his wife nicely and playing with his children. His wife was suspicious of the sudden behavioural changes and feared that he was having an affair with someone. So, she decided to investigate the matter and followed him to his office the following day. She then discovered that his boss was very rude. He abused her husband in front of the staff, but his husband bore all the insults, bowing his head. The same type of humiliation goes on throughout the day. After office, the husband did not head home, but went to a small isolated, hilly place. There, he cursed his boss with the foulest abuses, kicked the grounds and then sat silently for some time after getting exhausted. Thereafter, he headed back home and behaved very nicely with everyone. His wife understood why her husband behaved so rudely earlier, and how he became nice due to venting his anger outside the home.

We get emotional stimulation throughout the day from numerous places. The day starts with the morning newspaper, where we mostly see news regarding crime, corruption and accidents, and rarely find positive news items. In the course of the day, we have to deal with our bosses, who are usually not nice and treat us shabbily to get the work done. To avoid misbehaviour and humiliation by bosses, and to achieve our targets, we often treat our subordinates in the same way. We also have to plead with customers to get orders and often suffer humiliation and abuse from them when something goes wrong. We also watch the news on television or mobile, where we see how politicians are dividing the society on caste and religious lines, and ruling the masses by spreading hatred in the society. If we are in a democracy, our hatred spreads from the politicians to the people who vote these dirty politicians into power.

While emotional stress is accumulating in our minds in the form of anger, hatred, and envy, we can’t release them as we please. We may wish to abuse politicians on public platforms like Facebook, but we in turn are abused for expressing our views, and we may even be sent to jail. Sometimes, we can’t criticize them even before our friends and family members, as some of them may be hardcore supporters of the same politicians. We wish to speak our minds about our bosses and office politics, but we can’t do so with our colleagues due to the fear of them communicating the message to the boss or seniors, which can have severe consequences for our careers.

As a result, most of our emotions lie buried in our hearts, and they keep accumulating within our souls. Yet, instead of expressing them to someone, we suppress them to avoid undesirable consequences. However, someday, the emotional pressure becomes too high and then, at the slightest provocation, it busts out as we lose our tempers. In such a situation, our rational minds become dysfunctional, and our emotions unexpectedly dominate our actions and behaviours. We are desperate to release the pressure that has been accumulating in us for a long by expressing our thoughts. If someone tries to defend the person towards whom our anger and frustration is directed, we may even get violent and harm them. As a result, we lose our reputation, spoil long-term relationships and may even break the law and become criminals in the eyes of society.

Emotional Stimulation

When you deal with people, it is natural to have emotions like love, hatred, anger, compassion, etc., which create certain biochemicals in our minds. For example, testosterone, the male sex hormone made in the testicles, is responsible for the feeling of lust and sexual arousal in men.

When our emotions get accumulated in our body and mind, we feel agitated and stressed, even if we can’t exactly figure out what is making us anxious. We have an unconscious desire to release stress by expressing and acting on those emotions. However, these emotions are concealed, and we are not even aware of them till we find a stimulation that arouses our emotions, and our blood starts flowing rapidly in our veins; we want to release that pressure by acting on our impulses. For example, if you are angry with someone, you wish to hit that person, to harm him or even kill him. On the contrary, if you love a person, you feel deep compassion, and you wish to help that person to the best of your ability. By doing such acts, you achieve ultimate satisfaction, similar to an orgasm, and you feel satisfied. However, if you can’t release your emotional energies, your desires are unsatisfied, and your stress keeps accumulating.

The problem of expressing emotion is similar to the problem of fulfilling sexual desires. Just because a man feels attracted to a woman, it does not mean that the woman will cooperate with the man in fulfilling his sexual desires, until, of course, she also feels the same sexual attraction and desires. If a man tries to force himself on her, he will be convicted of rape, which will have dire consequences. So, one has to find a safe alternative to release sexual stress. In modern times, porn provides an alternative to release sexual stress and satisfy lusty emotions safely.

In the same way, when you hate a person and feel anger towards him, and you wish to harm that person to teach a lesson, your rational mind knows the consequences of the action. If you hit the person, he may hit you back and you may suffer more. If you kill the person to satisfy your anger, you may be arrested and spend the rest of your life in prison. So what can we do to manage our emotional stresses, and also avoid undesirable consequences?

Release Your Emotions

One way to get rid of the negative emotions is to become a saint or monk, detaching yourself from the world. When you don’t have any contact with people, there is little chance of emotional stress that is created due to interpersonal interactions. However, such a life also takes away all the joy that comes from positive emotions like love and compassion. So, a more practical approach to managing emotions is by their timely release.

Firstly, we must avoid doing things that create negative emotions in us. Secondly, we must find a healthy and safe way to release the emotions, and not allow the toxic emotions to accumulate in us for a long time. In the story, the man finds a way to release his negative emotions without causing harm to his family members. We can also safely release our emotions by reading fiction, watching movies, and sharing our thoughts with our loved ones. I have used brisk walking as a safe way to release my negative emotions. Sometimes, I write an answer on Quora or a chapter of a book to release my emotions. In some cases, I confront the person and express my true feelings and emotions in a controlled way, avoiding hurting the people I love.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else,” said Buddha, “you are the one who gets burned.” So, you have to develop an appropriate mechanism to release your negative emotions, which will naturally fill your mind with more positive emotions to give you joy and peace in your life.