I had the opportunity to visit the ‘Great Stupa’ at Sanchi, located 46 km northeast of Bhopal, India. It is the oldest stone structure in India and a World Heritage Site. The Stupa was originally commissioned by the emperor Ashoka the Great in the 3rd century BCE. Its nucleus was a simple hemispherical brick structure built over the relics of the Buddha.
While visiting the site, I came across a pillar on which four pot-bellied dwarfs called ‘yakshas’ support the architrave. However, the dwarfs’ facial expressions are different.
- The first is looking angry,
- The second is looking sad,
- The third is looking happy, and
- The fourth is laughing.
The guide explained that we all have to bear the burden of life, whether we bear it with anger, sadness, happiness, or joy.
The obvious purpose of the sculpture is to convey the message that the best approach of life is to bear the burdens of life happily. I am sure that we all wish to live our lives happily. Yet, we find happiness to be a difficult goal to achieve.
Let me narrate a famous story (with my own improvisation) to explain how people may view the same job differently depending on their attitude.
A Story of Four Masons
A traveller came across a site where he saw four masons cutting stones.
He moved toward the first of the masons and said, “My dear fellow, what are you doing?” The man continued his work and grumbled, “Can’t you see? I am cutting stones.”
Realising that the mason was upset about something and he did not wish to engage in a conversation, the traveller moved toward the second meson and asked the same question to him. This time, the man stopped his work and stated, “I came here from a faraway place to work. It is a very boring and difficult job, but I have to do so to support myself and my family. As soon as I earn ten dollars, I will return home.”
The traveller now enquired from the third mason, who paused, glanced at the traveller until they made eye contact and then looked skyward, drawing the traveller’s eyes upward. Then he replied, “I am building a cathedral.” He continued, “I have journeyed many miles to be part of the team that is constructing this magnificent cathedral. I have spent many months away from my family, and I miss them dearly. However, I know how important Salisbury Cathedral will be one day, and I know how many people will find sanctuary and solace here. So I am prepared to be away from my family because I know it is the right thing to do.”
The traveller now came to the fourth mason, who looked quite joyful and asked the same question. The man smiled at the traveller and said with great laughter, “I love carving stones. I am so happy that I got an opportunity to do what I love and even paid for it.”
This story explains how we can have different attitudes toward doing the same job. Our attitude is the result of our thoughts. If we wish to change our attitude, we need to work on our thoughts.
Let us understand the reasons why we feel differently while doing the same job.
1. Anger
We are angry with the world when we feel that we are treated unfairly and unjustly by the world. This feeling is the result of our assumption that everyone must behave in a particular way and follow the principles which we think are the right ones. We hardly realise that we choose our principles among so many principles that keep us at the centre. So does everyone else. We choose the rules that suit us most. This is evident from the following Mulla Nasrudin story
A neighbour came to Nasrudin to interpret a point of law.
‘My cow was gored by your bull. Do I get any compensation?’
‘Certainly not. How can a man be held responsible for what an animal does?’
‘Just a moment,’ said the crafty villager. ‘I am afraid I got the question back to front. What actually happened was that my bull gored your cow.’
‘Ah,’ said the Mulla, ‘this is more involved. I shall have to look up the book of precedents, for there may be other relevant factors involved that could alter the case.’
Most of us choose our principles this way, i.e. the way they suit us, but we expect everyone else to follow our principles rather than the principles that suit them. When that does not happen, we are angry. Our anger increases manifold when not only others refuse to follow our way, but we are forced to follow their way grudgingly. This is the state of mind of the first mason, who feels exploited by the contractor.
When we develop the habit of finding fault with others, we are not only angry when we are wronged, but when anyone else is wronged according to our logic. We are angry when America attacks Afghanistan. We are angry if a politician makes a stupid statement or an individual officer is arrested for taking bribes. Our emotions become so fragile that we are shaken by everything bad happening in the world. We lose our ability to see goodness in this world. Our lives become miserable due to our anger. We want to correct the world according to our perceptions, and we are willing to give our lives to achieve it.
2. Sadness
While momentary anger gives you extra energy to fight the danger, prolonged anger drains your energy. When we fight with others under the influence of anger, it only flares up more. When we avoid conflict due to the fear of retaliation, we keep on holding our anger against the one who seems to have wronged us. The Buddha wisely advised us, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
When our anger burns us out, we become weak and lose all vigour to confront reality. We become hopeless and helpless and soon fall into depression.
When our expectations are too high, we fail too often. The result is a loss of confidence and all hopes of winning. Yet, we can’t run away from the world. This is the condition of the second mason, who feels trapped in a job he hates but has to do it for the sake of his own life and the life of his family.
3. Happiness
The third mason was quite happy doing his job because he felt that he was doing an important job for the sake of the future of the world. He was sacrificing his present for the future of the world. When we work for some great purpose, our life gets a new meaning as we connect ourselves with the world. However, such happiness lasts only till your task is over. Once you complete your job, you want the world to do their part of the work. When that does not happen, we feel frustrated. For example, if the mason comes to know later that the Cathedral is used for the wrong purposes or exploited by the wrong people, he would feel utterly frustrated. He would curse the world and even himself as to why he and his family made so many sacrifices. When parents feel that they are sacrificing their present for their children’s future, they are frustrated later when their children refuse to fulfil their expectations.
4. Joy
The fourth dwarf in the pillar is laughing as if he is not carrying a burden but doing something interesting. He is like the fourth mason who was enjoying his job because he loved his work. When you do what you love, and love what you do, you are living in the present as you are enjoying the fruits of your labour instantly. When you play with your children with love, you are not expecting any reward later. When you read a book, not to pass any examination or to prove your knowledge and win arguments, but because you enjoy it, you don’t expect any benefit later. A person who can enjoy the present moment is never disappointed.
You may say, ‘I know all that. But my job is very boring. My life sucks as my boss is terrible, my work conditions are pathetic, and my salaries are abysmal. How can I love my job?’
You must understand that all your experiences are personal. If you just look around, you will find so many people in your own organisation who are doing the same job happily and loving it. All you need to do is talk to them or observe them closely to find what makes them happy. If you keep your mind open, you can soon find a way to love your job and love your life.
Conclusion
William Shakespeare wisely said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” Once we realise this truth, we can change our thoughts and hence change our lives. Instead of grumbling over life, we can live our lives full of joy by doing what we love and loving what we do.
In reality, no one can always be in any of the four states of mind. Even the happiest person sometimes feels sad and even gets angry, just like even the healthiest person, who sometimes falls sick. However, there is a difference between a person who falls sick once in a few years for a few days with the confidence of quick recovery with some rest or little medication and a person who is sick most of the time, living on medicine with hardly any hope of recovery. It is possible to minimise our anger and sadness and maximise our joy or life by transforming our thoughts and beliefs.
Originally written as an answer on Quora.
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